New Summer Elective Offered: Terrorism - CJ295/495

A r t i c l e  b y  E t a n  S h o r t z

MARQUETTE, MI -- Northern Michigan University's Criminal Justice Department will be offering a new elective this summer. The new course will take place during the second session beginning on June 19th and running to July 26th.

   The new course examines international and domestic terror including: Cashing in on the Arab-Israeli Conflict, Irish Republican Army Handwriting and Threat Writing, contacting Usama Bin Laden and Cronies, how to start your own psuedo-militia, and defeating anti-terror efforts and organizations in the U.S. and abroad.

   According to Criminal Justice department head Paul Lang, requirements include a basic ability to read english, and a long enough attention span to view several films and take one exam.

   "We hope this course will satisfy the new demand we feel students have made for courses that will prepare them for the real world after college," Said Lang.

   Plans are also in progress for the construction of a course in online terrorism, dealing with methods that include how to hack and reconstruct someone's web site, and transfer online cash accounts. The lateset NMU Stinkpad computer will be required for the course.

   "I know it's not the best machine for electronic espionage," said university planner Ken Naught. "But Bailey said that if we didn't start getting these things used, that heads would roll. You know how she gets this time of month."

   Several Criminal Justice graduates have expressed interest in returning for a Masters degree if the course would be available to them as well.

   "We certainly never had this opportunity back when I was here," said State Trooper Barney Fifth. "Hell, if we'd been given that sort of knowledge, do you think most of us would be working here now? We'd be sittin' pretty somewhere down near Cuba and hobnobbin' with the big boys."

   Several professors have expressed interest in teaching the course, though none have been willing to comment on their motivation. Most of them tended to just twitch as they mumbled and laughed to themselves and walked away.

   Lang sent out a public memo last tuesday that attempted to reassure those few on campus who see teaching terrorism to be a bad move. Lang's main argument in the memo was that "...these kids are pissed off, and if we don't help them to refine their techniques, they're just going to end up blowing away some McDonalds instead of only the people who deserve it."

   "I'm thinking of auditing it myself," added Naught.