N.M.U. Proposes New GAP Top Initiative

A r t i c l e  b y  E t a n  S h o r t z

MARQUETTE, MI -- Northern Michigan University's version of fashion in the 21st century is an exciting environment that embraces new styles to enhance student beauty, promote the sexiness of learning and encourage greater student-faculty appearance.

    Beginning in the spring of 2000, full-time NMU undergraduate students (registered for 12 or more credit hours) will be supplied with a general purpose Gap top shirt for only $385 per semester. After two years, the students will then have the option of purchasing the top at fair market value.

    Classrooms in new/remodeled buildings will be outfitted to facilitate Gap top/modeling use by faculty and students; some older classrooms will be retrofitted (Gap promises to make the 60's stylish all over again.) Not all classrooms will have a hanger at every seat because the University greatly underestimated the cost of hangers at the Salvation Army.

    Dr. Ned Loyal, Interim vice president for shallow affairs says that "University apartments will have improved closet space. Although additional student purchases will be encouraged, shirt-loaning centers will be installed in various campus locations for emergencies."

    Dr. Loyal also says that Northern will "...lease the Gap tops and issue them to students on a two-year replacement cycle (a student enrolled for four years will be issued two shirts). The necessary fee will be $385 per semester. This GLC fee covers the lease, laundering and occasional compliment. Clothing accessories will be available in our University Bookstore for various prices."

    "Continuing students who pre-register for the following fall, and make a $500, non-refundable deposit on their fall tuition bill, will be able to use their Gap tops through the summer for trips to the beach and the local malls."

    NMU clothing committee members say they have learned much from those who have already established similar programs. Last spring a team of six visited Wake Forest University, which has had a program in place for two years. A team of 15 students, faculty and staff recently returned from a visit to the University of Minnesota-Crookstoned which is in their sixth year of a similar program.

    "The Center for Institutionalized Trendy Expression (CITE) in the LRC will be a place where faculty can learn about the latest fashion trends for use in lecture presentations, learn how to sort of use new fashion development tools or other instructional support applications, and find/review materials on course design." says Joyal.

    Students were asked about their opinion on this new policy, but most were still in shock over the laptop issue and could only mumble while drooling.