Slight Variation On Laptop Policy Annouced By N.M.U.

A r t i c l e  b y  E t a n  S h o r t z

   MARQUETTE, MI -- Northern Michigan University's version of education in the 21st century is a learning environment that embraces technology to enhance student access, promote the development of independent learning and encourage greater student-faculty conformity to Microsoft standards.

    Beginning in the fall of 2000, full-time NMU undergraduate students (registered for 12 or more credit hours) will be "supplied" with a general purpose, laptop computer with as much Microsoft software as the hard drive will fit. The previous decision had been to "provide" this computer for $300, but because of upgrades in the new Microsoft "We Think For You" Suite, the price has been increased to $899 per semester.

    Classrooms in new/remodeled buildings will be designed to facilitate laptop/network use by faculty and students; some older classrooms will be retrofitted. Not all classrooms will have a port at every seat because the University greatly underestimated the cost of wiring existing buildings.

    Dr. Fred Joyal, Interim vice president for academic affairs says that "University apartments will have improved network access. Although electronic documents will be encouraged, networked printers will be installed in various campus locations for hard copy documents since not all faculty have yet learned how to check their email."

    In a telephone interview, Microsoft Ruler Bill Gates said "...you might not know why you need all this software yet, but trust me, you really do. I wouldn't have gotten this rich if I didn't know what you needed."

    "I Love Microsoft" bumper stickers will be available by the end of November, to be added to the registration requirements for parking on campus. Stickers will cost $6.99 each. Cars parked on campus parking lots without the sticker will be ticketed with a $25 fine.

    Dr. Joyal also says that Northern will "...lease the laptop computers and issue them to students on a two-year replacement cycle (a student enrolled for four years will be issued two computers). The necessary fee will be $950 per semester. This TLC fee covers the lease, insurance, Microsoft University Club dues and software."

    "Continuing students who pre-register for the following fall, and make a $985, non-refundable deposit on their fall tuition bill, will be able to use the laptop through the summer for surfing the web at a small additional charge."

    When asked his opinion on this recent change in policy, NMU student Josh Sawcut said that "...as long as I can keep surfing for dirty pictures of naked women I don't care what they do. My parents are paying the fee anyway."

    Another student had this to say, "Laptops? They're dumb. I don't even like computers. It's all Judy's fault. I hate her. I want to kick her a@*!"

    NMU steering committee members say they have learned much from those who have already established similar programs. Last spring a team of six visited Wake Forest University, which has had a program in place for two years. A team of 15 students, faculty and staff recently returned from a visit to the University of Minnesota-Crookston which is in their sixth year of a similar program. Even though both Universities are regretting the day they sold out to Microsoft, NMU administrators feel that we can be stronger than those other schools.

    NMU is working with new technology in the university apartments which uses current phone lines to give apartment dwellers continual access to the network/Internet similar to what hall residents have. The speed is not as fast but it allows "hot" connections and does not require additional (and very expensive) wiring. There will be an associated fee just as there is in the residence halls. Those living in married housing will be required to sign an agreement giving NMU the first born son of each couple desiring internet connection.

    "The Center for Institutionalized Technology instead of Education (CITE) in the LRC will be a place where faculty can scan materials for use in lecture presentations or on Web pages, learn how to sort of use new Web development tools or other instructional support applications, and find/review materials on course design. Non-flexible software combined with non-unionized student labor provide for a cheap and moldable work force available 24 hours a day, seven days a week..." says Joyal.

    Off-campus dial-up capacity is being improved dramatically. NMU has recently added 92 additional student lines for a total of 161 student lines. This covers almost 10% of the off-campus student body, which, NMU officials say, is better than found at most other Universities.

    Northern Michigan University has also announced its plans for becoming a GAP University in the fall semester of 2000.

    When contacted by phone for a comment, NMU President Judith Bailey said "As long as we're going to be trendy, why not go all the way?"