IBM & NMU Caught In Bed Together

A r t i c l e  b y  E t a n  S h o r t z

MARQUETTE, MI -- Sami the Jerk recently did some investigative reporting regarding the infamous TLC program here at Northern Michigan University. The material he gathered, and the evidence he put together was shocking. Unfortunately, the night before this publication was written, someone broke into our office and stole the boxes containing the controversial evidence.

   Because we cannot back up our story, we shall refrain from saying it's true. You get to decide whether to believe it or not. Is The...TRUTH just being a bunch of stupid kids? Did they actually find anything out? Do I care? Yes, these questions are your own problem now.

   Some students and faculty have gotten used to their IBM ThinkPad laptop thingies. Would those same folks remain comfortable if they knew the truth behind the program that put those lap warmers in their hands?

   What if IBM didn't submit the lowest bid. What if, despite the administration's statements that "cost is the bottom line," we actually passed up a better machine at a better price? Could there have been some personal reason or preference by someone high up in the chain of command that is responsible for what we *have* to use?

   What if Gavin Leech and Dan Maki, two of the top responsible people working with the TLC were actually paid consultants of IBM, and were doing IBM advertising to other universities on their N.M.U. paycheck time? Would this be a conflict of interests? Would Fred LaJoyal & Mike Roy know about the situation? Would they care? Would they do anything about it if they hadn't known but did find out?

   What if someone actually did a study on what "industry standards" existed in the "outside world" before they said what would best prepare students for the work force? Would this make more sense than using personal taste or financial gain as a means of high level decision making?

   What if we actually hired enough techs to staff a *real* help desk? What if we didn't just try to narrow down the technology we use until one person could try to deal with the problems on their lunch break? What if what we called technical support here at N.M.U. actually was, instead of just bearing the title?

   What if "High Tech, High Touch" was actually talking about our vending machines and the best method of getting a good grade on a final? What if what if what if what if what if.....