The..TRUTH Declares War On The NorthWind

By the Editor of The...TRUTH

   There comes a time in every publication's life, when important decisions must be made. They are not always easy decisions, nor are they usually popular. However, these decisions can not just be ignored... hoping they will leave like the gas resulting from a previous night of pizza and beer.

   What am I talking about? It's time to decide once and for all who the real source of news is at Northern Michigan University. This is a no-brainer, folks. Not only is the NorthWind filled with communist, liberal religious opinions and propaganda, they are an affront to anyone with a spel checker.

   In fact, the very title of the "news" paper came from an old Yooper joke about deer farts. Is this the face of News that NMU deserves? Well... is it the one we want to settle for anyway?

   The...TRUTH challenges the "NorthWind" to a duel. A war. It's not about pride... It's not about how far either of us can sling our proverbial urine... it's about who's the best damn publication on this bright and shining educationally superior campus.

   This is no place for the weak. When you walk across this campus, keep in mind who really owns it. Remember that despite the power of the conformist majority, the humble and meek superiority of the unknown will always overcome. On guard, NorthWind!