NMU's Customer... uhm, Student Service

The other night I did something stupid. The first time I ever did this particular stupid thing in my life. I locked my keys in my car. In my defense, the piece of junk I drive has door-lock "issues" when it's cold, and I thought I'd unlocked all four doors. I opened up the passenger side front door, pushed the unlock button (which unlocks all doors, on my car), tossed my keys over into the driver's seat (where I figured I'd next be needing them), shut the door and went to open the back passenger's door to put in a small suitcase of instrument cables and mic cords. The door didn't open. I realized I was stuck.

So, not having anything else I could think of to do, I went to a neighbor and asked to use her phone, to call Public Safety to see if they could help me out of this jam. (It was 9:05pm, I was supposed to be at a bar to set up equipment by 10ish at the latest.) The guy who answered the phone said that yes, they could help me. He told me to go out by my car and they would be there "in a little while." Oh, I also got a lecture on how they couldn't help me into the car if it wasn't mine. I find myself wondering how many car thiefs call up the police to help them break in?

At about 9:30 my neighbor saw me still out there, so she called them to find out what was taking so long. Did I mention it was cold as hell? They told her that they had only one officer on duty, and that he was "in the middle of something he couldn't get away from." When she told me that, my first thought was "somebody better be getting robbed across campus."

Finally, my knight in a shining car showed up. It was 10:02. Yup, almost an hour to get there. I didn't holler at the officer, or "cop" an attitude, I just reassured him it really was my car. He spent about 5-10 minutes sliding that little metal thingy up and down my driver side window, and wasn't getting the door open, so I suggested he try the other side. He moved over to the other side and that door opened after only a minute of jiggling. I was grateful, so I thanked him and went about putting the stuff in the car I needed to bring with me, while he was getting back in his car and finishing up his paper work on the ordeal.

When I got around to the driver's side, I found out that my door still wouldn't open. It would lock and unlock but not open. He'd broken it. I still didn't say anything to him, except to answer his question on whether it was opening or not. (My thoughts, however were growing darker.) As I was getting into my car - through the passenger side door - the last thing he says is "hope I didn't break it" as he drives off. I could sense that this came from the heart of his bottom.

Unfortunately, for them to even try to help you, you have to sign a paper that says they aren't to be held responsible for any damage. It would have been nice if they'd actually mentioned there was a good chance of damage occuring. Or maybe even trying a door first that would be less often needed, as a precaution, but I was obviously a pain in that officer's ass that evening.

I did my best not to vent my frustrations that night, and to be understanding. The dispatcher, or whoever it was that answered the phone over there, said that there was only once officer on duty and he was tied up in something he "couldn't get away from." Fine. Maybe somebody was holding up CatTrax or something. But, when I stumbled across the Public Safety Daily Activity Logs (they publish on the web) I found that there was nothing logged for at least two hours before my call.

1855 TX Caller from Lincoln St. apts. requesting assistance for a vehicle lock-out. Community Advisor contacted. Resolved.

2101 TX Caller requesting assistance for a vehicle lock-out, Lot 5. Resolved.

That last one was me. Resolved. (The only thing that's resolved is my lack of faith.) So what was happening between 1855-1900 and 2101? Must have been a pretty good card game going on somewhere or something. Or maybe target practice over behind Jacobetti.

Since I've been familiar with Northern since the fall of '92, I hate to have to say, I am not surprised by this whole thing. I have noticed that NMU is more interested in "customer service" than "student service" (yes there is a difference!)... and even their customer service leaves a hell of a lot to be desired. Even McDonalds continues to beat them at that game! Hell, at McDonalds, it's the customer that's always right. Would that be a nice change around here.

I think I keep hoping that someday, before I graduate, I'll wake up and find a University who cares about what happens to their students. Let me also say that there *are* a few people in administration and hiding amongst the faculty who do give a damn about the students, but they often find themselves as tied up and frustrated as us serfs.

If I ever get stuck outside my car again, I think I may still call someone to come help... but I'm going to jiggle the metal thingy myself. At least I care what happens to the car!

Nathan Lyle